The interview meme (courtesy of countess_sophia)
You are appointed the new commissioner for social affairs with a remit to expunge an irritating social custom. What attracts your ire?

That's easy. People who use their cellular phones in inappropriate situations should be chased down. The Something Positive approach might be a bit extreme, but I agree with much of the underlying sentiment.

While working in the University stacks one day you find your way into the Special Collection. In there can be found every book ever written, including those which scholars have thought to be lost. The guardian of the Collection will allow you to take two volumes to read. What do you select?

Um, do the remainder of the Canterbury Tales qualify as a single volume? If so, the other text would be the complete Dictys of Crete.

Which garment do you most dislike?

Caftans have never particularly interested me. Too baggy, too shapeless.

A deity wishes to brighten up her hall with a painting or sculpture of you. Which great artist should she commission and how would you prefer to be depicted?

I think I'd prefer someone from the French Impressionist school. I think I'd prefer being in the foreground of some streetscape or café, passing or in thought, by Degas.

You make it big in music. What is your band called, what do you play and what genre is it?

I'd be the lyricist for Downbelow, composing well-wrought and authentically poetic lyrics for the group's eclectic wide-ranging electronica. (I'd also look good in sunglasses and black leather jackets, for the photo shoots.)

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The interview meme suggests:
If you want to be interviewed, leave a comment. It's fine to be interviewed more than once. I'll respond with five questions. You update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers. You include this explanation.
You ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed