June 8th, 2002

The Coming-Out Story

Hello, everyone!

I'd resolved to tell Mom and Dad that their only son was bisexual at the beginning of the week. I'd initially planned to tell them today (Saturday) but I realized I'd have to go the next day to work. This made me realize I might need the next day off, and so, I opted for the first evening Dad had off--Wednesday.

I was tense all day, sending out E-mails and doing writing, hoping things would pass. I was chatting over AIM with some good decent people--say "Hi," Tom, Mike, Vegard--who were reassuring me. At 4:30 there was a mini-crisis: My supervisor phoned from work and asked me if I could come in for 5, I said no, Mom was upset and thought I was sabotaging my job, I told her I'd tell her and Dad in an hour. She left, wondering.

Supper was tense. I ate everything in five minutes and went pacing. Then, I sat Mom and Dad down in the living room at 5:30 and began to tell them, but the words refused to come out. I wasn't upset, I just couldn't enunciate the words. I went down at 5:40 and phoned Steve, letting him know to come by to pick me up 6:20-ish. (It turned out it'd probably be to go to a movie; his mother and step-sister would be coming along.) Then I went back up, and kept starting and stopping.

When I told them, fifty minutes later at 6:20, it was easy. Relatively speaking. We're not a very expressive family, I fear, so it could be that the shock Mom and Dad showed was only that. They seem to be taking it fairly well, though. Michelle was right--Mom did take it well and understood, Dad wondered if I might be confused, I explained the congenital nature of it and emphasized that I was still the same person, I left them to talk.

Steve and his family drove up at 6:40, fortunately. They'd lost their way. Then, Steve and I went in to see _Attack of the Clones._ (Which I liked; see my review, below.) I came back at 10, they hadn't talked at all but were tackling the plumbing. In all honesty, the plumbing was dire; several strips of insulation had to be gotten rid of in the basement, which had been leaking for the past week, because the kitchen taps were leaking. And then, that's it.

I think I was confused because nothing changed immediately. I'll have to wait a bit for that to kick in, I suppose.

Frederick Kempe's _Fatherland_--Kempe is a son of a German refugee with an interesting take on Germany, quite nice, something to read in its entirety--and a Penguin dictionary of geography.

It felt, as I went to bed Friday night at about 12:25 am, like a weight off of my shoulders. Though I'm still not sure how my parents will cope in the days ahead--I think they're still trying to get their heads around it--they're good people. My faith is renewed.
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