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Saturday, August 24th, 2002
4:10p - Tonight's the night
I'll be going to the ARC-PEI GLBT dance tonight. ARC--Abegweit Rainbow Coalition--is the main queer organization on PEI, and it hosts these dances on a monthly basis. I went before, in April; I wasn't nearly ready for it. It was just such a shock to me, I guess; simply being there.

http://www.arcpei.isn.net

is their website, incidentally.

I'm going there tonight, and I'll try to stay. I'd announced it on the gay-pei list which I moderate, anyway, so I have to make at least a notional attendance. I'll probably show up early, so I can talk to some of the organizers. At least this way I'll get home before midnight.

And then, there's the question of what to tell the parents. "Hi, I'm going to a dance." "What kind of dance?" "Well ..." Tom suggested that I should simply tell them everything, but I've no idea how they'd take it. Ah, well; the situation is untenable as is. I probably should break the tension, for good or for bad. It's the kind of thing I've shied away from for too long


current mood: weird

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9:18p - This sucks
I hate myself for being so fucking weak.

I'm not going.

Mom's talking about how she's devastated in between tears, Dad thinks I shouldn't have a personal life displayed for everyone to see. I can't take my parents' poisonous concern.

I should have gone, but I was in no mood, anyway. Still am not, in fact. I'm so angry.

I told them they that if they don't want to talk about me being bi, they can forget about having any legitimate right to ask how my day went. (Oh, and I apologized for the fact that they've got a faggot son.)

If they don't think that's important or something they want to talk about, or if they want to hide it, well, to hell with them if they want to know anything less important.

If they don't want me to have a life, fine. Then they've got no right to expect to share a life with me.


current mood: pissed off

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