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Sunday, September 22nd, 2002
1:32a - A Quiz
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? Living at home, in a bungalow in Charlottetown PE.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Robert Zieger's America's Great War: World War I and the American Experience
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? A cow surfing the Internet.
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Monopoly
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? The Atlantic
6. FAVORITE SMELLS? Freshly baked bread; a seashore.
6b. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? Rotting things..
7. FAVORITE SOUND? Rain falling on a tin roof.
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Rejection.
9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Much too early, go back to bed.
10. FAVORITE COLOR? Blue.
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? A half-dozen, in the hope someone else will pick it up.
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME OR PET'S NAME: No idea.
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? Living.
14. FAVORITE FOODS? Pasta, seafood, salads.
15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vanilla.
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? I don't drive, but I suppose so.
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? No.
18. STORMS COOL OR SCARY? Scary, in a cool kind of way.
19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? No first car.
20. FAVORITE QUALITY IN PEOPLE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO? Intelligence and honesty.
21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Assorted cocktails.
22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Capricorn.
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Happily.
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? Something I enjoy and have security in. ::shrug::
25. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR? Natural blond.
26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? No.
27. IS THE CUP HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Half-empty and draining quickly.
28. FAVORITE MOVIES? The Royal Tenenbaums, My Big Fat Greek Wedding
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Both hands; 55 WPM.
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? The floor, assorted books and things.
31. WHAT"S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 4.
32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Swimming.
33. SAY SOME THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Tom's a wonderful person and a great friend.
34. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? (OR COPY FOR LJ?) Tom, Erin, Griffen, Kay.
35. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? (OR COPY FOR LJ?) Everyone else.
36. WHAT CD (OR TAPE) DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR STEREO USUALLY? I listen to MP3s and CDs, I'm quite omniaural.
37. FAVORITE TV SHOW? Either Buffy or The Simpsons.
38. EARLIEST MEMORY? Knocking over a lamp when I was in a walker, at the age of 1.
39. IF I COULD, WHO WOULD I TRADE PLACES WITH? Myself, in a different life (an alternate history).
40. MOST ANNOYING THING? The fact that it's taken me this long to feel potentially human.

(4 comments |comment on this)

3:21p - Guilt, Forgiveness, and Repentence
Events of late have made me conside anew the question of guilt.

I'm quite good at feeling guilt: Ask Erin, or Tom, or anyone else who knows me. I'm good at feeling guilty whenever I do anything wrong; I'm good at feeling guilty whenever I suspect I'm doing or have done anything wrong; I'm good at feeling guilty even when I'm fairly sure I've done nothing wrong. Needless to say, this weird Calvinist guilt is rather paralyzing, and I'd like to think I'm beginning to move beyond this paralyzing guilt.

But still. I do feel that guilt is necessary, as a kind of purgative. I'm reluctant to forgive and forget, or be forgiven and have my sins forgotten; that seems much too easy. I believe that if you do something wrong, you should feeling guilty for your actions, and that the onus should not be placed on your victim to forgive you but on yourself to apologize without a selfish expectation of forgiveness. You should apologize simply because you owe it to a person.

I'm not a formally-trained moral philosopher by any means, of course, but there's one angle of attack I can see: Is there ever any such thing as a totally innocent victim, or a totally guilty perpetrator? Or at least, is there any such thing in ordinary life?

I leave the floor; I leave the discussion open to everyone.

Thoughts?


current mood: questioning

(4 comments |comment on this)

4:35p - And on the topic of apologies and forgiveness ...
... it looks like I owe Derek an apology. I'm rather relieved to learn that what had seemed to be a spectacularly cruel way of telling your soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend that you hate his guts was "merely" an ill-conceived and stupid prank gone horribly--and almost catastrophically--wrong. Contingent upon Tom's decision, of course.

So, my apologies, Derek.


current mood: apologetic

(1 comment |comment on this)

7:45p - Windows 3.1 wasn't that bad
i am



what
microsoft OS are you?

(1 comment |comment on this)

7:48p
"Heart Of Glass" (Debbie Harry, Chris Stein)

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

In between
What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine
Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind
If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good
You teasing like you do

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside
We coulda made it cruising, yeah

Yeah, riding high on love's true bluish light

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass
Seemed like the real thing only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind
"Heart Of Glass"

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

In between
What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine
Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind
If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good
You teasing like you do

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside
We coulda made it cruising, yeah

Yeah, riding high on love's true bluish light

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass
Seemed like the real thing only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind


current mood: exhausted

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