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Friday, October 18th, 2002
1:22a - Day's done ...
I was late to the GLBT meeting; i feel asleep in the English Lounge. Fortunately, I didn't miss much of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. It was an interesting movie, though I'm still uncertain as to the validity of a connection between non-heterosexuality and transvestism, never mind the extravagance of drag. Oh well.

I'm finishing up typing in my notes and downloading just a few more kilobytes of music and video. I completed downloading "Sweet Surrender," by Sarah McLachlan and filmed by Floria Sigismondi; excellent video, that. "Doesn't mean much/doesn't mean anything at all ..."

Gosh, it was an interesting day.


current mood: tired

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1:24a
"First We Take Manhattan"

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
For trying to change the system from within
I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin
I'm guided by a signal in the heavens
I'm guided by this birthmark on my skin
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I'd really like to live beside you, baby
I love your body and your spirit and your clothes
But you see that line there moving through the station?
I told you, I told you, told you, I was one of those

Ah you loved me as a loser, but now you're worried that I just might win
You know the way to stop me, but you don't have the discipline
How many nights I prayed for this, to let my work begin
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I don't like your fashion business mister
And I don't like these drugs that keep you thin
I don't like what happened to my sister
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I'd really like to live beside you, baby ...

And I thank you for those items that you sent me
The monkey and the plywood violin
I practiced every night, now I'm ready
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I am guided

Ah remember me, I used to live for music
Remember me, I brought your groceries in
Well it's Father's Day and everybody's wounded
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin


current mood: accomplished

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2:20p
"Blue Monday"

How does it feel to treat me like you do?
When you've your hands upon me
And told me who you are
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me, how do I feel
Tell me now, How do I feel

Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations
From the past until completion
They'll turn away no more
And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today

I see a ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasn't for your misfortune
I'd be a heavenly person today
And I thought I was mistaken
And I thought I heard you speak
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now, how should I feel

Now I stand here waiting...
I thought I told you to leave me
While I walked down to the beach
Tell me how does it feel
When your heart grows col

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7:35p - A Fight
Mom and I had a fight just a half-hour ago.

She went after me, calling me irresponsible for misplacing a credit-card receipt; I lost my temper and said that I didn't like her very much any more, and then explained the reasons why; she responded by saying I didn't deserve to have a credit card and that I wouldn't be able to live on my own.

Well. The bitch thinks I can't survive on my own? Fine. I'll just have to redouble my efforts and prove her wrong.

Addendum: As it turned out, I didn't misplace the credit-card receipt at all. It was, in fact, lying unopened on the china cabinet where I'd left it.

You know, I'm looking forward to this. Perhaps I should give my parents a few years to themselves to reflect on just how they've lost the affections of their son. Or at least, a few years to wonder why I don't come home for Christmas.

I wonder: Is it wrong for me to want to hurt my parents' feelings the way they've hurt mine?

Second Addendum: I asked Mom for an apology, and she refused to give one. So, I told her to fuck off and went to bed. Rude, I know, but I really don't care.


current mood: determined

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