December 4th, 2002

The Relevance of Families

The appointment for family counselling has been set up, I guess. Apparently, here on PEI it works as follows: A worker interviews the parties separately over the phone, getting personal information, their verbal consent, and their perspectives on the situation. The information is transmitted to the counsellors en groupe, who decide which of their number is best-suited to tackle this particular problem. Finally, the appointment is made.

I snapped at Dad this morning. It had appeared to me, from the questions that the worker was asking, that Dad wanted to arrange the counselling for me only, and I took it as an insult. Turned out that I forgot that as an adult, I have to be asked.

You know, I've realized: I really don't care what my parents think, or feel, any more. I used to depend critically upon them for any sense of well-being, but now, I don't care what they feel. Or at least, if I care, I care only distantly. I could reference the things that my parents--especially Mom, put me through, but there has to be some fault on my part. There would have to be, wouldn't there?

I guess that I did overestimate the strength of the family bonds this past spring and summer. Ah well: Better that I found out now than later, better that I find out now than a year earlier before I was planning to move out anyway.
  • Current Mood
    vaguely sad

Three Things I've Realized About Myself Today At Work

I eat a lot when I get stressed. (I realized this, just now, when I left work for a relative meal at Subway only to head for the candy dispenser to buy either Skittlers or chips.) I'll have to watch this.
I'm excessively self-critical and perfectionist. I tend to take any statement that isn't uncritical praise as exceptionally rigourous criticism.
From the above statement follows a realization that I tend to excessively avoid any contact which could produce conflict.