|Friday, December 13th, 2002|
8:12a - 42nd Street
I'd a good time last night.
I'd left the home at 10 past. I'd barely enough money for a taxi, but I managed to make it downtown without having to break into my collection of Canada millennium quarters. (I used up some of the extras, oh well.) I dropped off a very bad Star Trek novel in the book bin at the library (Melinda Snodgrass, Tears of the Singers, and ack, I'd liked her Tenth Circuit books much better) and went to the Royal Bank on lower Queen Street to withdraw some money. When I crossed the street, Joel was there, just arriving himself.
Joel and I were the first to arrive, shortly joined by Adam; then, after 20 or so minutes, by
Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-user="taem">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]
I'd a good time last night.
I'd left the home at 10 past. I'd barely enough money for a taxi, but I managed to make it downtown without having to break into my collection of Canada millennium quarters. (I used up some of the extras, oh well.) I dropped off a very bad <i>Star Trek</i> novel in the book bin at the library (Melinda Snodgrass, <i>Tears of the Singers</i>, and ack, I'd liked her Tenth Circuit books much better) and went to the Royal Bank on lower Queen Street to withdraw some money. When I crossed the street, Joel was there, just arriving himself.
Joel and I were the first to arrive, shortly joined by Adam; then, after 20 or so minutes, by <lj-user="taem"> complete with his barbell tongue piercing; then, by Justin, who came with his girlfriend and whose mom was waiting for him; then the girls, <lj-user=nire_nagaf">, Jen, and Sofia; then came others, like Amelie Wong and Peter DeGrace. All in all, just short of a dozen people.
<b>Later</b>: I'd had a very good time just talking with everyone. It's a nice confirmation that, yes, I can be sociable, even in the context of social drinking. So far as I can tell, I didn't do or say or appear anything in any way offensive, and did in fact a fair bit that was good, or at least not off-putting.
I came out twice in the middle of casual conversation:
<li>To Justin Perry, when we were talking about our Honours essays and how life could intervene. (Justin asked me to repeat myself, though it might have been the noise, but he was cool.)</li>
<li>To--<lj-user="taem">, you'd know her name--in front of Brendan Lea and some burly guy in a black leather jacket, talking about the potential of <A HREF="http://www.livejournal.com">Livejournal</A HREF>.
[And to be accurate, <lj-user="taem">, I was out on Livejournal basically since my first posting; it's only that <lj-user="nire_nagaf"> found it without telling, hence I got inadvertantly outed to her. (The term "outed" is, I believe, a highly contestable one--I don't mean to use it to describe something unpleasant, but rather the simple and individual act of discovery.) I intended it to happen eventually, after all, since it was a public web journal. I didn't mind at all, at the time or now--I think it worked out quite well. And no, I don't mind that other people read this; I'm just curious as to who they are. Feel free to post people, please.]</li>
It's easy, isn't it?
I got, I believe, mildly drunk on a combination of drinks including some girl drinks, which reminds me of Peter Degrace's mentioning of the "Girl Drink Drunk" sketch on <i>The Kids in the Hall</i>. In an odd way, he looks like his brother Steve; Peter was interested to know about Steve's new boyfriend and all.
Plenty of other good things happened, mainly very interesting conversations as <lj-user="nire_nagaf"> wrote in her entry. No romantic possibilities, though I think something might have been on the verge of happening between one girl and myself, at the tail end of the endeavour, as she thanked me for getting some information over E-mail for her on a certain northern European town where she'll be going to study for a semester. Ah, if she only knew; ah, if I'd the courage.
And that's it
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1:49p - Books I've taken out at work today
- Ralph H. Magnus and Eden Naby. Afghanistan. A conventional academic history of that country. 958.1 MAG.
- Samuel Beckett. Mercier & Camier. No such thing as too much Beckett. F BEC.
- Gail Bowen. Burying Ariel. An installment in the Joanne Kilbourn mysterty series, the latest in the stories about the crime-solving Saskatchewanian widow. It's quite good, really. F BOW.
- Cameron Dokey. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Here Be Monster. Yes, it's corporate literature. But a) I'm curious, b) I'm not paying for it, and c) it's only shameful if I feel ashamed. PB YA DOK.
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2:00p - Define: the verb "to come out", the nouns "coming out" and "outed"
A recent discussion in my livejournal has led me to wonder how other people define the verb "to come out", and the nouns "coming out" and "outed."
I've tended to use the above three words/phrases to describe the simple fact of becoming known, whether through one's own effort or through the discoveries of others, without reference to the morality of the effort. Thus, I used the word "outed" to refer to the accidental discovery of this livejournal by some UPEI friends of mine. In so using the term I didn't mean to imply that it was at all unwelcome or forced--did I use it correctly? incorrectly? are there a plurality of meanings?
I mean, I think it's safe to say that I'm out already, so it's not like I mind, or that I minded back in September.
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3:25p - Meditations on Male Desire (Introduction--Part 1)
Of late, there's been a fair bit of discussion, in my livejournal and in the livejournals of my friends, about sexual desire. So, I've decided that beginning today, I'll post a series of meditations about sexual/romantic desire, specifically about its male variant.
I know that there are specific facts about my person that would seem to make me an unreliable observer:
- I've not had any romantic relationships, or any sexual encounters. Most guys have had both, or at least have experienced one of the above.
- I've only lately come to realize that I have any sexual desires or romantic yearnings at all. Most guys haven't taken nearly as long as me.
- I'm currently identifying as bisexual, or--if that's too specific and suggestive a term--"not straight." Most guys don't identify that way.
But then, by the same token, these three personal characteristics of me make me well-placed to be an observer. Anthropological theory does hold, after all, that people who are on the outside of a culture or a situation are better placed to provide neutral and objective commentary. And if there's one thing I've been, it's been an outsider.
So: Here they come.
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3:47p - Meditations on Male Desire (A Statement--Part 2)
A Statement: A very large majority of men actively gaze and in so doing, fantasize, and fantasize through gazing. Men sexualize all potential objects of desire, even objects of broad-based romantic desire as opposed to objects of purely sexual desire.
This trait, so far as I can tell, is common to men across the Kinsey spectrum. I've sat with straight guys and commented upon how some women--even though we know nothing or next-to-nothing about them--are hot; I've sat with gay guys and made the same comments about some men. Some body parts (glutes, chins, legs, hair) may be common to both genders; some body parts (biceps, abs) are unique to men; some body parts (breasts) are unique to women. Irregardless, all these body parts can, if sufficiently well-formed and appropriately placed, produce bodies of either gender which will quickly attract an appreciative and often intrusive male gaze, which will then proceed to inform optimistic speculation as to what can be done with said body or bodies.
This, so far as I can tell, is a natural response (by which I mean inevitable at its base, though it can be treated by men and responded to by their objects in any number of ways, some more legitimate than others). To think that you'd like to jump this cute blonde with the ample bosom, or that well-dressed slim guy, doesn't mean that you'd not be interested in establishing a romantic relationship with either (or for that matter, with both if you're of that bent). It's simply an initial response taken without knowing much about that object's potential desires himself or herself, just hoping for the best..
It's quite possible to be entirely too caught up in superficial responses to physical appearances, but superficialities have their place. One thing I've noticed about all guys, again irregardless of sexual orientation, is that they like to watch. What can I say? It's fun.
(And for all I know, this response may be just as common among women. I can't say, since I'm not one.)
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4:17p - Weight-Loss Tips
Taken from MSN, annoying links and WeightWatchers advertising snipped out:
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4:34p - Meditations on Male Desire (Statements on Theory)
- I don't intend these ruminations to be prescriptive, on either gender.
- I don't intend these ruminations to reflect any strict biological bifurcation of humankind, but rather to refer to the much more fluid category of gender which isn't tightly linked to biology.
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