May 17th, 2010

[LINK] "New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb"

Facebook's Безродный Космополит pointed me to this alarming news item.

The world has been placed on a heightened security alert following reports that New Age terrorists have harnessed the power of homeopathy for evil. ‘Homeopathic weapons represent a major threat to world peace,’ said President Barack Obama, ‘they might not cause any actual damage but the placebo effect could be quite devastating.’

The H2O-bomb has been developed by the radical New Age group, The Axis of Aquarius. In a taped message to the world, their leader, Professor Hubert Pennington, said: ‘For too long the New Age movement has been dismissed as a bunch of beardy weirdy cranks and charlatans. But now we have weapons-grade homeopathy and we demand to be taken seriously.’

Homeopathic bombs are comprised of 99.9% water but contain the merest trace element of explosive. The solution is then repeatedly diluted so as to leave only the memory of the explosive in the water molecules. According to the laws of homeopathy, the more that the water is diluted, the more powerful the bomb becomes.

‘It was only a matter of time before these people got hold of the material that they needed to make these bombs,’ said former UN weapons inspector, Hans Blix, ‘The world is a much more dangerous place with the advent of these Weapons of Mass Dilution.’

‘A homeopathic attack could bring entire cities to a standstill,’ said BBC Security Correspondent, Frank Gardner, ‘Large numbers of people could easily become convinced that they have been killed and hospitals would be unable to cope with the massive influx of the ‘walking suggestible’.’

[LINK] "Don’t I know you...? What happens when Star Wars Kid grows up?"

Remember Star Wars Kid?

On November 3, 2002 a Canadian student made a video of himself swinging a golf ball retriever around as a weapon. The video was filmed at his high school studio, and the tape left in a basement. It was taped over a portion of a basketball game (as seen extremely briefly at the end of the clip). The video was discovered, uploaded to the internet, and eventually became a viral meme. An edited version of the video was created, adding Star Wars music, texts, and lightsaber lights and sounds to his golf ball retriever. As of November 27, 2006 it was estimated by The Viral Factory that the video had been viewed over 900 million times.

The Globe and Mail's Wency Leung starts an article on surviving youthful follies as an adult with his story</a>.

Have you ever wondered what happened to the Star Wars Kid? Nearly eight years ago, private footage of Ghyslain Raza, a corpulent, faux-light-sabre-wielding Quebec teenager, hit the Internet and quickly became one of the most popular viral videos of all time, viewed by more than 900 million people.

Now in his 20s, Mr. Raza has made headlines again, this time for his appointment as the new president of the Patrimoine Trois-Rivières conservation society in Quebec. An article published earlier this year by Le Nouvelliste outlined his vision for the organization, accompanied by a photo of a slimmer, professional-looking Mr. Raza in a suit and tie.

Readers might not have made the connection were it not for three words, in bold lettering at the bottom of the online version of the article: “Star Wars Kid.”

Reputations gained in youth die hard – whether you were a nerd, a prodigy or a delinquent – career experts say. And reinventing yourself for the working world can be all the more difficult in an age when information about your past can be dredged up with a quick Internet search.

The French Wikipedia has an extensive article about Mr. Raza's plight, if you were wondering.